Shitty first drafts and other things

I decided to write about "Shitty First Drafts." This reading was really interesting because I just agreed with all of it. It was written super casually, making it easier to read. Anyways, this reading made me think about why I find it so hard to start writing an essay. Am I afraid of judgement? Probably not. I mean, I know that no one is going to read the shitty first draft. Even when I’m supposed to turn in a first draft for feedback, it really isn’t my FIRST draft. It’s probably my third. I think I just don’t want to start writing because I don’t know how to start it. I know that if I start writing without knowing how the essay will progress, it’s going to be bad. Like, if I write something bad, I wouldn’t even know where to start fixing it. I guess I don’t want to write a bad first draft because I don’t want to re-read my work and know that I wrote that shitty thing. I know that in the long run, I’m saving time by writing a bad first draft because at least I’m putting my ideas down on paper. I find that starting an essay or any other piece of writing is just making your fingers move and type/write something rather than actually trying to write something meaningful. Even if you get one good idea from 1000 words of garbage, the effort spent writing that garbage was worthwhile. And honestly, the likelihood that a good idea will come out of that much writing is pretty high.

I still have a long ways to go with this post. I guess I’ll talk about my week. I called my mom for the first time in a while. It also feels like I’ve been here for SEVERAL months. I’m not tired of the school or my friends (I love it here), I just feel like I’ve already found a routine. My sister also called me today. She texted me this morning, asking if I had time to call her. So I told her that anytime was fine. She called me later today, like 9PM, and we talked for a bit. I asked her if something happened and she just told me that she wanted to hear my voice. It was weird. She is not who I remember. This is the same sister who I low-key roasted for being really loud, to a fascinating extent. I guess she just misses me but I also saw her last weekend.

Okay, just a little bit more to write. My roommate and I had a heated discussion about Legos yesterday. Apparently, we both have an obsession for the really complicated Lego structures, the ones with like HUNDREDS of pieces. We basically like a puzzles that are really complicated but look really cool when completed. What a bunch of nerds we are. Anyways, it was weird how we both didn’t know about this mutual obsession until now.

-Crystal